Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
