Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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