how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
