Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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