NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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