how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
