I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
