My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
