i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
