official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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