i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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