It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
