My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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