508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
