the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The air was thick with penises
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I FOUND THE LEGS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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