This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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