I swear she didn't look like that last week.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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