You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
