sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
