Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
