Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
