We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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