Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
