Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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