Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
