i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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