i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
