She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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