I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my being single is dangerous.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
