Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
