K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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