i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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