I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize