I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I love you.
Bad choice
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
