Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
