Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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