The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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