I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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