Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
