Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
