i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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