The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
