help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
