It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize