No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
