She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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