her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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