no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
