idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
