Whod you bang
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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