Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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