Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
