I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
