Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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