I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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