stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
