At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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