Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize