she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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