You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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