So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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