I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So much rum. So many feels.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
