hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
