In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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