PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
