Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
