Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize